New Year.

Well, I started out the New Year the way I hope to spend 2012... Sleeping! Haha but really?! I did way too little sleeping in 2011, that I would like to spend 2012 catching up on it. Donnie and me planned on ringing in the New Year together, sitting in his tiny hospital bed watching a movie and kissing at midnight. Well, didn't quite work out that way, by 9 o'clock we could barely stay awake long enough to make it through the end of our movie, so I resigned to Aunt Lu's and Donnie hit the sack. It's just another night, no big deal, right? We are ready to have a healthy, happy, normal 2012 and put 2011 behind us!
On Friday night, Donnie's first bag of chemo went fine at first but after about a hour his face started to hurt him pretty bad and then it became almost unbearable. Then he was very light headed and almost passed out in the bathroom. The doctor gave him some stuff for pain and after about a hour or 2 he felt a little better. He was able to get some sleep that night and by the morning he felt 100%. Yesterday was a rest day, so no chemo. We just hung out most of the day, would have probably been more of the day, if I didn't drive to Santa Monica that morning {stupid California freeways} uggghh. But anyway, it was a good day for him, even though we are both going a little stir crazy in here. You can only play so much Rummikub ;) Today, he had to wake up extra early, 5:30am, to shower and get started on his next bag of chemo. He has to be hooked up to a heart monitor the whole time, so he isn't allowed to get up from the bed. This kind of chemo has a side efffect of low blood pressure. So, he has to be hooked up to a heart monitor the whole time and a nurse has to stay in the room the whole time to monitor him. Since his blood pressure will get so low he won't be able to get out of bed for the duration of the bag, which is 4 hours. He also had to take benydryl right before and then again a hour later. So, he's pretty much been out of it all day. His blood pressure did drop too low about 2 hours in, so they had to stop the chemo till it came back up and then they were able to start it back up. Other than that he has been snoozing the day away, which is great! Better than sick. It's definitely been a boring day to start the new year though haha.

Day -5.

We have begun our very long month! We arrived in LA last night. Probably would have been here earlier but it took us 6 1/2 hours to get here instead of 4 1/2. Bleehh, there was So. Much. Traffic. I don't think we went faster than 45 the whole way to Barstow. Anyway, it was long. We had a nice dinner at Aunt Lu's and went to bed early. We made it to USC about 8:30 and Donnie had a room by 9, which was awesome! They got him started with all his vitals, and a chest xray, and a EKG, then started him on a hydration bag. It's been a pretty boring day though. Donnie was able to bring his xbox, and DVD's so we watched a movie and have just been hanging out. It is going to be an extremely long month though. It's just such a weird feeling to be here. I want to be here with Don but most days are spent doing nothing and just keeping him company. But then I think of how much I miss the kids and I just wish I could do both. I wish I could be with them and with Donnie, but I can't so I guess I just have to get over it. My mom will have the kids at our house till next week and then I'm gonna go home for a couple days then back here for proably another 5 days and then back home for a couple and then back here... pheeew, Did I already say it was going to be a long month?! Day by day that's the only way I'm going to make it through all of this without losing my mind. I honestly feel like it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't miss my kids so much, but I feel like I've been away from them for weeks and it's been one day! Oh well, day 1 is almost done, actually, in transplant terms it's day -5 that's almost done :) They call the first day -5, then -4, -3, -2, -1, then the day of the actually stem cell transplant is day 0, then, day 1, day 2, and so on till possible discharge around day 16. It's hard to get use to. Donnie just barely started his first bag of chemo and it's going well. Only a 3 hour bag so we'll see how he feels from it. Then, tomorrow is a rest day and Sunday another chemo bag. He's doing good so far. He's actually playing xbox as we speak :)
I'm going to try to update everyday, should be pretty easy for me, seeing as I do NOTHING but waste time here :)

Christmas.

Christmas came fast. I mean FAST. I tried to cram so much stuff into the couple days before Christmas because we had been gone. We went to see the lights at the Speedway on Friday. They were so cool! Brody and Mia loved them. There is like this huge path that you drive really slow through and it's covered with lights. We had a good time, it was a nice family Christmas activity. Then, on Saturday, Christmas Eve, we spent most of the day finishing last minute stuff around the house. My mom and I did some prep work for Christmas day lunch and Brody and I baked up a storm. Santa needed some cookies :) Christmas Eve night, we let the kids open one gift. My mom let us open one gift every Christmas Eve and I always loved that, so I thought it would be a good tradition to keep going with my kids. And of course they loved it too. Brody was so excited that we let he have a present before Santa came. I also, bought them Christmas jammie's to wear that night. Gotta having them matching! My parents stayed at our house that night and so did my sister so that we could all do Christmas morning together. Brody left chocolate milk and cookies for Santa then him and my sister, Kacie had a little tent slumber party in his room so they could wait for Santa together. Brody had so much fun!
So, remember that little "Santa present" snafu? Well, it kind cleared itself up. I was planning on trading gift with my mom so that the Santa presents that Brody found would be from her and her presents would be from him. But I was all guilt ridden because I didn't want to give him some random gift he didn't ask for {I know, I know, spoiled brat but I've been having guilt issues and that's a whole other post} Santa is suppose to bring the good gift, ya know, the ones he found in the closet! But anyway, when we were gone to USC, him and my mom were at the store together and she bought my cousin this Skylander game gift set. With like the game and the action figure and Brody was all about it. He kept asking why it wasn't for him and that he wanted to tell Santa that he changed his mind. He even kept hiding it around the house, thinking my mom would find it. Little ruggrat :) HA HA. So, I guess long story freaking loooong, my mom bought him Skylander and it was his Santa gift. Christmas morning rolls around and Don and me are sleeping in our room and Brody and Kacie in his room and I hear him run out and yell, "Skyyyylander" haha. I've never seen the kid so excited. And he has not stopped playing yet. He would play 24/7 if I let him. Brought so much joy to me. Even if he's probably about as spoiled as it gets ;) We spent most of the morning opening presents and eating breakfast, that was truly the gift for me this year, to be able to spend Christmas with my family, healthy!
Here are some pictures from Christmas Eve and Christmas morning!

Christmas afternoon we had all of our family over for lunch and gifts. I decided to host this year because I had no idea what Donnie would be feeling like so I thought that it would be better on him and I if we were at home and he could go back in the room if he needed to. Fortunately, he was great on Christmas! You never would have known what he had just went through! It was nice just to enjoy the time we had together. My mom and me cooked most of the stuff for lunch the day before so we just had to throw it in the oven on Christmas. We didn't want to have to do too much on Christmas morning. We wanted to enjoy it and not spend it slaving away in the kitchen. Everything turned out great and we really had an amazing day. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful family we have in our lives. We've had a very difficult year and all of them make use feel truly blessed! Merry Christmas to you :)

There's always next year.

This one is my moms!

This year for Christmas I was in a mad dash to get everything done in time. I had this really wonderful idea (from Pinterest of course) to make these awesome yarn ball wreaths for Christmas. But what I didn't realized is how time consuming they are. And of course I decided to make 7! I know, I know I'm crazy but honestly crafting is very calming for me. Even though this was a little much! I didn't think I was going to get them all done but I did and they turned out great. Good thing my little helper elf, Donnie did some of the yarn rolling ;) I think we have a new hobby :) 

Not the best picture but you get the drift :)

I also decided to do my gift wrapping a little different this year. Instead of the tradition name tag, I decided to print black and whites of whoever the gift was for and mod podge (elmers glue like substance) and use the picture as the gift tag! I think they turned out adorable and I'll probablt make that my "thing" that I do every year. How did I live before Pinterest?! So many great ideas to fill my ever so boring life :)

I did have a few fails this Christmas season though. Normally I would be able to get all of this done no problem but this year I think I put a little too much on my plate. 

First fail - 24 days of random acts of kindness. I had this amazing idea to do something random and kind for someone every day until Christmas. Under the circumstances, I feel extremely blessed this year. So many amazing people have been kind enough to help us whenever we have needed it and I feel like I've been doing a whole lot of taking and a whole lot of not giving. Also, I wanted to show my kids that Christmas is not about what you get it's about what you do for others that make the holidays special. Anyway, why this was such a fail, is because I only did about half of my days. I just didn't realized how much I actually had going on this month. And very time we went to do it, something happened; Brody fell and started crying, Mia fell asleep on the way there, we couldn't find where be needed to go. Oh well, I guess, there's always next year. 

Here are a few pictures of the kids doing some of our random acts of kindness!

Don't mind Brody's tears, he had just fallen on the playground.
Good thing he managed a smile for the picture ;)

Second fail - Marshmallow (our elf) never really moved. I moved him a couple times in the beginning then not at all after that. Brody never really noticed either so I kinda just forgot about the poor little guy. I feel so guilty because I had this big "Welcome, Marshmallow" breakfast and then he just sat on the table for 3 weeks. I even did Marshmallow as our family tradition at school. Oh man, I'm awful. I can't even move a freaking elf around :) Obviously I have too much going on haha. There's always next year!

Third Fail - Christmas cards. There has never been a year in my whole married life that I haven't sent out Christmas cards. I kept sitting down to do it but it just never happened. Every time I would go online to pick out a card and put a picture on it, i just wasn't feeling it so I would quit. Also, why the heck does everyone waste so much money sending cards to people they either never see or talk to or that they see and talk to all the time?! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Christmas card hater but it makes me wonder. Ok, this sounds like I dislike getting cards, I actually love getting them, I can't wait to get the mail everyday to see who's in my mailbox. I'm just kinda bummed that I can't send everyone I know a picture of my beautiful kids :) Maybe I can send cards for Valentines Day,  now there's a thought!?! Probably won't get around to that either. Luckily, there's always next year!

Going, going, almost gone...

What the heck?! Christmas is already over. December literally feels like it flew by. Where to even begin..

Donnie and Me made it home late Wednesday night. He only needed to do 2 days of harvest, which was awesome. Every day he finished we were never sure until about 6 o'clock that night whether it was enough. But after his extraction on Wednesday we decided to go to a movie and wait for the call. We were really hoping that he would be done because we wanted to get the heck home. I had so much last minute Christmas stuff to get done and we missed the kids like crazy. Luckily for us, he was good to go and they got all the 5 million that they needed. We were just so glad he didn't have to be stuck in that out patient room another day. I've been in some bad rooms but that was the worst. There was just so much equipment packed in to this shoe box room that you literally could not move around! The first day I had to sit in a plastic stupid chair for the entire time. Not to complain but it was pretty bad. So, the next day I made sure I had a more comfortable chair, but the problem with that was that the only place it fit was in front of the bathroom, so I had to move the chair every time someone had to  use it. Which really wasn't that much because Donnie was hooked up to so many cords that he couldn't move from his bed so he had to pee in this urinal bottle thing. {haha he is gonna kill me for writing this} It was just not a very comfortable 2 days but we were glad that it was only 2 and not 4! We got home really late so we didn't see the kids till the morning but man, were we happy to see their sweet faces!

In other Donnie related news, his hair is finally falling out! We have been anticipating this for months but it just never seemed to happen. He's probably the only chemo patient I know with a full on beard. He's been complaining about his head being sore for probably the last week, so we knew it would be soon. Last night, I was rubbing his head and I wasn't really paying attention because I was talking on the phone but I eventually looked down and my hand was Covered in hair. The whole blanket had hair on it, it looked like a dog shedding ha ha! I could not believe it. I kept grabbing like a pinch of hair and it was just coming out. So crazy! So, today he shaved it all :( He was very depressed about shaving his very mature beard but it had to go. We couldn't have everything covered in hair. Poor guy! It's hard to see it all gone. He's a good sport though and who knows it might come back red ;)

BTW - He hates that I post pictures but oh well I love it :)

I'll make a Christmas post soon... Promise :)

Harvest.

I was goin to post when we got here but I was just now able to get the wifi to work. Anywho, we got here about 3pm on Monday and Donnie had to do some blood work and a chest X-ray before he started Tuesday morning. We did all that then headed to Aunt Lu's for dinner and to relax for the night. My uncle told me if we had to be at USC at 7am then we needed to leave the house at 5:30am.. Bleeehhh. So, we woke up at quarter to 5 and headed out soon after. Unfortunately for us we got there in a half hour. I say unfortunately because we were there so early the hospital wasn't even open so we sat in the car for a hour but whatever better early than late. He started with blood work then went upstairs to the outpatient rooms to start the stem cell harvest. He started about 9 and only that late because one of his catheter tubes were clotted so they had to use a vein for his blood return. It takes 5 hours from start to finish. They run his blood out of one tube and through this machine, take the stem cells out of the blood and then run the blood back into his body. It's quite a process. He need around 5 million stem cells harvested before he can be done. They told us they would call us around 6pm last night to tell us if he had enough but unfortunately they only collected half of what he needed.. So he had to come back again today to do another 5 hour harvest. I mean, he's actually doing pretty well. They said on average it takes 1 to 4 days to collect what they need and he was able to give them half in one day. Hopefully after today he will have enough and we can go home but we'll have to wait till tonight to find out! Wish us luck :)
On a side not.. The day we left both our kids woke up sick. Fun. I felt so bad for them. {and my mom} Mia had a bad first day and Brody has been coughing up a storm and they havent been sleeping very well at night. I just wish I were there, cause all kids want their mom when their sick. And I feel bad that my mom has to do it all. I swear, something always happens when I have to leave! I just miss my kiddos and I wish we were home! Plus, I have a boat load of Christmas stuff to finish... Ahhh relax, Alex, it will all get done. I have to just keep telling myself that he he :

Santa Schmanta.

So before I start with this story I want to say this is probably just as much my fault as it is Donnie's but here goes... I wrap and store all of the Christmas presents in our guest room. The kids never go in there unless I'm in there and I've only been going in there lately to wrap but I usually do that at night. So anyway, Yesterday Donnie went in there to wrap "some gifts" in the middle of the day and didnt lock the door. Well, I was busy cleaning and wasn't really paying attention to where the kids were at but apperently our little munchkins followed Donnie and sneaked in the door behind him. Between me leaving Brody's presents in plain sight and Donnie not being not aware of who was following him, Brody saw his "Santa" gifts. So, Donnie kicks him out of the room and he comes to me and says "mom, mom, I saw the scooby doo haunted mansion and the t-rex in the bedroom". I honestly could have fell over. I was searching for this fabulous lie I was going to tell to some how make it better because the scooby doo thing is literally the only thing he's been asking for. So I told him, "oh those aren't your presents they're Cooper's (his cousin)" Which in return makes him say, "Why would Cooper get the toys I asked Santa for?" Good question, Brody, I have no idea?! Even a four year old didn't believe my stupid excuse. I mean really, what do you say to that? So after him asking for about 2 hours if he could look at the gifts but not open them and after me saying no 500 times, he gave up. I never wrap his Santa gifts I always just leave them out by the tree for Christmas morning but now it's a little ruined. I mean if I leave those gifts out he's gonna be all like, Santa didn't leave those they were in the bedroom, I saw them. There goes the whole Santa theory. So, my idea of a solution is to trade gifts with my mom ha ha. She's gonna wrap the Santa gifts for her and I'm going to take her gift to put out from Santa. I mean really though!? I had these big magical plans of Brody running out on Christmas morning and seeing the scooby doo haunted mansion all set up and it was going to be so great. But now, I'm over it, Santa Schmanta.

Remembering Julie.

Today I remember, Julie, my Mother-in-Law. It has been one year today since she passed. I still can't believe it sometimes. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. She passed away from complication from chemo. {she's the reason Donnie and I chose the treatment we chose in the beginning} Julie was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery to remove the lumps. She was considered cancer free when they decided to do a couple cycles of preventative chemo. Well, that chemo caused a blood clot in her bowel and wound up rupturing her bowel on Thanksgiving day last year. After many surgeries, highs and lows, she went into cardiac arrest a couple weeks later. With the loss of oxygen to her brain, the doctors considered her brain dead and she was on full life support. I remember that day that Don, my father in law, decided to take her off life support like it was yesterday. I was at the hospital, with Amie, waiting for her son, Max to be born. It was such a bittersweet day for me. I was watching this life be born into the world at the same moment I was mourning one leaving this world. I can't tell you how much of a miracle watching a baby being born is. Unless you have experienced it, you will never understand how amazing it is. I have had two babies myself but I have never experienced it from the outside and trust me it is a beautiful thing! But my mind was never off of, Julie. I couldn't stop thinking of her sweet smile and her sarcasm that made her so much fun to be around. She was a safe harbor for me, especially in a family full of boys! We would gossip and laugh and go do girl stuff, and for that she will always be missed. For all that knew her, she was just Julie, she had a certain way about her that you just couldn't help but enjoy. And her love for Rock music and Golf is just a whole other topic :) There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. When I go to their house I wait for her to walk out of the back room, even though I know she won't, it's like I still wait. I couldn't have asked for a better mother in law and we lost her too soon. Today, I wanted to remember her not only in my mind but also in my words! Here's to you, Julie :)

All in one.

Between getting ready for Christmas and getting ready for our next trip to USC on Monday, I have been slacking on this ol' blog. I seriously have so much to talk about because alot has been going on. So, I'm just going to put it all in one post. Thanks to a another fav blog I read, she gave me this great idea. Quick, to the point updates. So here goes..

1) Donnie had to take a last minute trip to USC on Friday. We found out Thursday at 3pm, that they did not have all of his labs needed to procede with the stem cell harvest on Tuesday so he needed to go down there by Friday to get them done. He was literally having to fly all the way to USC to get blood drawn. Such a pain! But then they called me back and told me that since he was already going to be there, they wanted to just do his 2 bags of Chemo. I was able to find decent flight rates but he was going to have to go alone because I had no one for the kids. So he got there on Friday, did his blood, got admitted to the hospital and started his Chemo. He did fine, just bored! They discharged him so late on Saturday that he almost missed his returning flight. We were like planning all the scenarios; if you miss it, you can get a hotel room close {it was the last flight of the night}. I had already checked what hotels were available. Between getting discharged 2 hours before his flight, driving all the way from USC to LAX, the freeway entrance being closed, having to return a rental car, take a shuttle back to LAX, I think it is only a miracle that he made his flight, he even had 15 minutes to spare. Poor guy! Nobody wants to do that alone especially when you just got out of the hospital! Anyway, he arivved safe and sound! He has been feeling the Chemo a little more this time around. He was a lot more sick the few days after then he has been in the past. He still hasn't lost any hair though, it starting to be almost funny. Every time he does a cycle of chemo they  say you will definitely lose you hair and then he never does. Oh well, he's probably one of the only chemo patients with a full beard :) He is having to give himself shots everyday for his white count but other then that he's just chugging along. 

2) Since Donnie was going to USC on Friday and I could't go I decided to head to Cedar for the weekend with the kids. There was a special birthday party I wanted to go to and I wanted to take the kids to play in the snow and hang out with my mom. I haven't been to Cedar since 4th of July so I was a long overdue trip! My bestest, Amie had a 1st birthday party for her son, Max. I was so glad we were able to make it. The kids had a great time playing! This little boy will always have a special place in my heart. I watching him come in to this world and to me, there is nothing more awesome to experience! Mia and him are only 5 months apart so they are already great little playmates. 

We also got some snow time in! Brody hasn't been in the snow in forever and I don't think Mia ever has, so I was glad that Cedar had some while we were there! I had nothing for the kids to wear, in terms of "snow gear". So, we hit up the only place to shop in Cedar, Wal-Mart and got them all good to go! They both looked like little marshmallows. It may have been a little bit of over kill but at least they were warm. They both loved it. 

Me and Austin

While I was in Cedar, my mom was nice enough to watch my kids while my sister, Amie and me went out for some drinks. There is really only one place to go in Cedar but we don't see each other too often so we were up for anything. At the end of the night, we decided to stop by a friends house that I haven't seen in years, literally like 7 years. It was really great to see her because she has been a huge support for me through all of this Cancer stuff. Over the past year we have continually emailed. She went through a similar situation with her grandfather and over the past year we have really become good friend. She is a true pillar of strength! I was so happy to see her that night, even if most of it was spend learning how to dougie ;)

I had a great weekend, it was good for my mental health he he! 

{except for the speeding ticket I got on the way home}

Thanks a lot Utah!!!

3)I forgot to talk about how fab my mother is a couple weeks ago. So ya know when we had to go to USC for just the night so that we could do a little orientation... well, it was a long trip. Making those 24 hour trips are exhausting and by the time I was walking into our house I was beyond drained. I just wanted to relax and hang with the kids. But to my surprise I walking into a beautifully decorated Christmas tree {one that had not been there when we left} Thanks to my mom, she had put our whole tree up while I was gone. Most people would say... I like to put my tree up! And if it were any other year I might say the same thing, but not this year! I was so grateful that I didn't have to spend a whole day, that I didn't have, doing it.  This month has been chaotic so this was totally awesome that! Thanks mom :) We were able to spend the rest of the night playing with the train and just hanging with the kids. It was the best way to end the trip!

4) Tis the season... to give! We recieved a nice little suprise the other night from a mystery family. It was a box full of gifts, one to open each night till christmas! The kids just love it, they can't wait till it's dark to see what the next one is. It goes along with the 12 days of christmas, so each day has a different saying. Its super cute. There is always a little story that goes with each day {but I always wind up reading that to myself because the kids are too busy with the gift}. I think I might have them open the gift after the story?! I might have a better audience if they know they get something afterwards :) So far we have opened socks for both the kids, yummy chocolate turtles, pens for each of the kids and party poppers. I'm pretty sure these people know us because of the stuff we have opened, so I would like to thank them, if they're out there :) It really was so kind and generous. I love Christmas and the spirit of giving! 

All in one.

Between getting ready for Christmas and getting ready for our next trip to USC on Monday, I have been slacking on this ol' blog. I seriously have so much to talk about because alot has been going on. So, I'm just going to put it all in one post. Thanks to a another fav blog I read, she gave me this great idea. Quick, to the point updates. So here goes..

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