One year ago...

WOW!! How ironic is it that my last post was about staying consistent and then I don't make another post for six months? Oh well. Life has been busy! It's like we've been making up for lost time because we've been nothing but going since Donnie has been better. It's what made me want to post again. Yesterday as I was getting the kids ready for school, I looked at the date  and realized one year ago, (just a few days late), we were in the ER when they found Donnie's facial lump. I completely forgot that it had been that long. It's funny because I had this overwhelming feeling of gratefulness and happiness. Even one of the teachers at school said, "you're awfully smiley today!" And I was, I was happy. Some days it feels like all of that stuff was decades ago and other days it feels like yesterday! It's been a whole year since it felt like my whole world was caving in on us, a whole year since complete despair and uncertainty. A year ago, I could have never imagined the place we are right now. A place where our days aren't consumed with doctors appointments and pain and medication and sadness and fear of death. Instead they are filled with laughter and birthday parties and swimming and potty training and life! I couldn't be more grateful to get a second chance at living the life we want to live with our family. Trust me, there had been many times when I didn't think I'd be able to come out of it unscathed, but we did. And there will always be a part of me that will never forget the pure blessing of health and life, because I will never forget that he was almost taken away from me. Donnie and I are like every other married couple out there, we argue and we disagree and sometimes we even take each other for granted, but in the end we experienced something together that we could never forget. There are so many times that I asked myself, and I'm sure Donnie as well, why are we going through this? What did we do? And after a whole year of asking myself that, my only answer is, that's life! Life is filled with challenges and struggles that make you the person you are. I learned so much about myself and my relationship and my friendships and parenthood and strangers and patience and love through this last year, that I don't think 70 years of no struggles would have taught me! As a sit, staring at this computer, I can't help but think that everything I prayed and hoped for a year ago, is everything I am living today. Sure, my kids drive me crazy sometimes, we have medical bills coming out our ears, Donnie and I disagree about ridiculous things and just daily stay at home mommy stuff, but at the end of the day I have a husband that is alive and healthy and Cancer free. I have kids that make me laugh every single day and I have the most amazing, supportive family and friends. And a year ago, I could have never imagined this kind of happiness for myself!

Our life has been chaotic and busy and amazing these last 6 months. Brody, Mia and Donnie all celebrated birthdays in July. Donnie's brother, Micheal and Logan got married.  We found out we are going to have a new nephew and niece both due in November :) My parents got divorced. Mia started preschool for her very first year. Life is crazy and beautiful all the same time and I'm just thankful that I still have all the ones I love to share it with!

St. Patty's Day.

Yayy for Mike and Logan.

We spend St. Patty's Day weekend in Cedar. Donnie's day had bought Air Show tickets in St. George for that day. We had a really fun time with the kids. It was kinda windy but we all still enjoyed it. Brody is pretty use to jets, with growing up on base and having the dad he has but he still was totally into it. He said his favorite part was the battle scene with the tanks! Mia was pretty sleepy so she wasn't much fun but we all survived. They had jumpers too, so the kids were all about it, well, except Mia (she was tired). We also gained a new soon-to-be sister-in-law and soon-to-be Aunt and cousin, Logan and Harley. Mike (Donnie's brother) proposed to his girlfriend that morning at the Air Show. We are very excited for them to become part of the family!

We eat like Dinosaurs.

Well we've had a pretty big change in our family recently. We are now Paleo/clean eaters/healthier bodies. I don't know if I like to consider us Paleo(grain free-dairy free), we are just more like clean eaters. We eat like the dinosaurs; meats, fruits, veggies, nuts. We eat no grains, no dairy and nothing artificial. We started our new healthy lifestyle about 3 weeks ago. Brody was sick for like the 400th time in last few months and I was honestly just sick of it, it was the straw that broke the camels back. I always knew that Brody had a dairy intolerance but turned a blind eye because I never wanted to deal with cutting dairy out. And his behavior was starting to get a little out of control but I also ignored that! I have a friend that had switched her family over and I noticed such a change in their health. I was ready for that for us! The big running joke with Brody has always been, that the list of foods he likes is shorter than the list he doesn't. I mean when I say, he doesn't like much, you can literally count the only foods he would eats on two hands. He never ate meat, he didn't eat any vegetables and he would only eat about 2 kinds of fruit. On what planet is that healthy? Well, it's not. He was eating no real food. He lived on beige, processed food! And to be honest, I blame myself. I am the one that buys the food, cooks the food and gives it to him. So, I stopped cold turkey. I cleaned out our entire pantry, got rid of everything that wasn't a real food! Which pretty much left my pantry empty: if it's in a box, it's most likely not very good for you. I filled it back up with stuff they could have. I wanted to remove the temptation, I didn't want them going in there and seeing a bunch of stuff they couldn't have. I mean don't get me wrong, I love cereal and pasta and tortillas and oatmeal and girl scout cookies but it was just making us sick. We were never fueling our body, we were just filling it with crap.

 Let's fast forward to present day. No one died from starvation. Brody has tried a green bean, he eats spinach in his smoothies, he has found a new love for bacon and he eats at least 10 new fruits. It is definitely still a work in progress but we are making some serious progress. He is still not willing to try other meats but that will come with time. We still enjoy many baked treats, that are classic favorites but just tweaked a little to suit us! Brody's behavior and health, just in 3 short weeks has made a complete 180. He's not so whiny and a cry baby. He's also more interested in learning and he's more alert and focused. I feel like we all feel better too. I never really realized how much food can effect you. And this isn't for everyone, if you would have asked me to do this last year, I would have laughed at you. I had to be ready to make the change but I am super glad I did!

Sneaky Leprechaun.

I worked in Brody's class last thursday and it was such a great day to be there. It wasn't really St. Patricks Day yet but it was the day the class celebrated it. It was really a fun day, Mrs. Fitz had the moms decorate the class like a Leprechaun had sneaked in while the kids were outside. We had streamers and we topsy turvy-ed the stuff in the room.We also hung the kids snack bowls and spoons on the tree outside. There were also green footprints on the floor! The kids even made a Rainbow fruit salad and were able to have Lucky Charms for snack (Brody was allowed because it was a special occasion :) The sneaky leprechaun even made their milk green.

The kids seriously could believe that a Leprechaun came to their class room! I always love working in class but this day was the best. The excitement and pure wonderment on the kids faces made all that clean-up ;) worth it!

Weekly Chronicle...

Every time I go on here to post, I think people must think I am the most inconsistent person ever! I don't write anything for weeks and weeks and then I write 50 post about all kinds of things. Oh well. Life has been really busy and sometimes I would just rather relax on the couch with the kids and Donnie then sit on this stupid computer typing. Even though I love having this blog and being able to share a little bit of our life with every one, I feel like sometimes it's a chore. And every time I post on here, I say " I'm going to be more consistent" but then I never am. It's kinda like a new years resolution that never sticks. Where you're all gung-ho at the beginning and then it quickly fades. So, I think I decided to spend one day a week updating. That way I don't feel like I'm playing hooky everyday I don't blog. If I know that every Wednesday at noon I update then I won't feel so guilty on the other days. It probably makes more reading for you guys but I feel like this is the best solution for my inconsistency-ness (I know, that's not a word, but it pretty much sums me up). Plus, today is a better day than ever because everyone has been sick in my house. So, while they are all napping and watching TV, I am able to play catch-up { haha catch-up story of my life}

On to fun stuff...

A few posts below :)

Roos-N-More

Brody's school had a field trip to Roos-N-More last week. It's all the way in Moapa, so it took us about an hour to get there. We've never been there before but I have heard really great things about it. It's not like a regular zoo, they let you actually interact with the animals and hold them and feed them and it was so cool! They have all kinds of animals, from Toucans to Kangaroos. Brody was not very into getting close to them but Mia was all about it. She wanted to hold the monkey and feed the Camel, nothing scared her. I even really enjoyed it (and I'm not the fondest of animals) but it was a perfect day out and we couldn't have asked for a better day to have a field trip. Love our little school and the fun things our kids get to experience!

Get ready for picture overload :)

Mia loved the little monkey!

I was so happy that he finally wanted to hold it. Isn't that just so cool?!

Playing with an Anteater and some Armadillos.

Mia was so brave feeding the Camel.
She kept wanting to get another apple and feed him again :)

IHop and The Lorax.

The kids at IHop.

Brody came up to me a couple weeks ago and said "Mom, I want to go to IHop and have pancakes and get a seed to plant a million trees!" Uhh ok. Where the heck did he come up with this idea?! Well, ya see, IHop has a really great marketing group and they like to run IHop commercial's between children's shows. And they were even better this time by throwing in The Lorax, which makes it much more appealing! So, anyway, I thought sure why not! Let's go have pancakes and get a seed "to plant a million trees" We decided to go a couple Saturdays ago. Brody was so excited, he kept saying is it Saturday yet?! It was a fun little family breakfast! Brody has had a long, stressful last year, like the rest of us, so I wanna kinda make up for it. I feel like I want to be more of a "yes" mom, within reason of course! I mean for us to go to IHop was really no big deal, but it was a huge deal to him! I'm not much of a eating out type person, I'm kinda a germaphobe and also, for health reasons! But I figured I could suck it up and I'm glad I did because I honestly feel like he appreciated that we made it important! And we also got our seed :)

Brody planting his seeds.

We also went and saw The Lorax on Sunday! And it was so great, we loved it. We had been reading the book for the last few days and I definitely think that made it more enjoyable. And if I'm being honest, This was my first 3D movie. Haha that makes me sound like I'm a hundred, but going to the movie's is Donnie and Brody's thing. I'm always the one home with Mia. I really wanted to see The Lorax though, so my grandparents were kind enough to come over and watch her so we could go! It was really awesome in 3D, Brody always reaches out and tries to grab at it. Funny kid. I think it is a must see kid's movie! 

26... say whaa?!

It's official.. I am out of my early 20's. Where did the time go?! I swear, I was 18 like last month. I feel like as the years go by, birthdays are really no big deal, not that nobody makes them special for me but I just feel like it's just another day. Once you have kids you stop worry about making you life so fabulous and start focusing on making theirs wonderful! It was funny though because when I woke up that morning, The first thing Brody said to me was "Mom! It's your birthday. Happy Birthday!" It was very sweet. That made me feel special. He is such a tenderhearted kid and I was very surprised that he remembered but he did! We went to the park with my mom in the afternoon and the kids were incredibly good for me that day, best present I could have received :) Nothing like perfectly well-behaved kids for you birthday (maybe not perfectly but pretty close) 

The kids playing at the park! Cuties :)

Then, later that night all my family came to our house to celebrate. My family is loud and crazy and fun and we generally always have a good amount of laugh when everyone is around. Especially when you sit at the fun table ;)  I honestly, could not think of a better way to spend my day, then with the people I love! 

PS- I even got this little shiny :) Needed a new one badly! 
Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Weekend of Friends.

A few weeks ago my bestie came into town with her family. We had a really fun time. The kids loved having each other to play with and the adults loved having some adult time with the kids occupying each other :) 

The munchkins at lunch.

We did lots of playing, went to the park, went to the mall, had many great lunches and dinners and one of the days we even went to Shark Reef. It has been a really long time since I had been there, and they had never been so it was cool to go and check out all the animals. It was actually a lot shorter than I remembered but it was still fun and the kids really loved it! Mia kept pointing at everything and going, "ooohhh" and Brody and Jen especially loved the sting rays. I think they stayed there for at least 30 minutes. Brody seriously didn't want to leave but we bribed them with frozen yogurt afterwards so they were much more willing to move on. And then there is Max, who was perfectly content making his dad chase him all over the whole place :) All in all it was a really great day!

I think the best part of married adult life is being able to watch a second generation of friends grow up together. We really are lucky to have our kids be able to play together. Mia and Max already have their eyes on each other he he :) We had an awesome weekend with them, even though our late night board gaming caused a little trouble ;-)

Lately...

So.. I've found some stuff to talk about. Actually, I have found A LOT of stuff to talk about. I'm going to put it all into one post because well, I'm lazy! So, this is going to be looong and filled with pictures but trust me it will be so worth your time ;) haha probably not but I feel less guilty now that I'm actually writing about something. Plus Brody is a sicky today, he's made a home in my bed and has been watching movies all day and Mia is napping so I finally feel like I have time to sit in front of this computer!! Anyway... this is what we have been up to lately.

We went to Red Rock over the weekend and had a blast. It was such a beautiful day out and we were sick of being in the house, so my mom and us headed out to do some hiking. We couldn't do anything too incredibly strenuous with the kids and all but we had a good time. This particular trail we took was suppose to have water and a waterfall at the end but it was all dry when we got there, only a small like trickle from above. Brody really enjoyed himself though, and so did Mia, she gets quite the ride :) When we arrived at the end of the trail, we ate our packed lunch and explored a little bit then headed back down the trail. It was a really pretty day and I'm glad we decided to go!

(notice the ruggrats probably having more fun in the back of the car then the actual hike)

Monday, was Donnie's first day back at work. It was a very exciting day :) It's been almost 4 months since he worked. He has been very anxious to get back there and start to get back in the groove of things again. He is on light duty right now, so he is in the office and not out on the flight line, but he will be out there before he knows it. He still needs to take it easy, everything else will come with time. He is so glad to be back at work {the 5:30am alarm clock, not so much} but glad either way. I'm just overjoyed that he is healthy enough and feeling well enough to return back to work. 4 months ago, I never would have imagined that he would be feeling this well this fast. He is definitely an answered prayer! 

Brody beat Skylanders! I'm not sure if I have talked about this before but my mom bought Brody this "Skylander" game for Christmas. We really had no idea what it was when she bought it, we just thought cool, a fun game for the Wii! Boy, were we wrong. This game has these figurines that play with you on the game, so you put the certain player on this "portal" thing and then you switch out guys as you die... anyway, these figurines are like Cabbage Patch dolls in the 80's. You can't find them ANYWHERE!! Sometimes, I find myself going to 3 or 4 stores in one day just to see if they got a shipment (I know, I know, its a problem) So anyway, we have been playing this game for months and Brody finally beat the Whole game. I only let him play for a little bit each day so when he finally beat it, he was very proud of himself! The first thing he said was "Mom, can I call Dad and tell him I beat the WHOLE thing?" Haha funny boy!

We started a few weeks ago with Valentines Day stuff. Brody needed to start early making Valentines and collecting 13 hearts for his heart collection at school. Every year for Valentines Day the kids bring 13 of the same heart (can be anything that is a heart and about the size of your hand) and hand made Valentines Cards. The hearts are a really cool idea because all the kids bring home so many different hearts from each one of their classmates. Brody and I started early making Valentines cards because he has just started to really write his name, so I wanted to give him plenty of time to complete them and not feel too much pressure to get too many done at one time. I think he did the best job and we had an awesome time doing them!

The hearts on the bottom are what he brought for the heart collection.

I just love this picture of them.
Totally shows their personalities! 

Valentines Day morning, was of course on a school day and those days are always a little bit of a rush. This day in particular, Brody decided he waned to sleep in, (which is like a lunar eclipse in our house, rarely happens) and I had pink pancakes and these cute little mailboxes with some goodies shoved in them waiting for him and Mia. I finally was able to get him out of bed and he was pleasantly surprised by what he found! Mia was definitely more excited about the food but that's our Moosie :) I really wanted them to enjoy their morning, so I let the rush go and we just ate our pancakes, laughed a little, got dressed, took a few pictures and we were still able to make it to school on time. Yayy for us! I had the best morning with them. I love to make silly holidays fun for them. Most day are pretty boring, normally just filled with the everyday stuff. It was nice to take the time to make just a normal day special!

I took a few picture when Brody arrived at school. Mrs. Fitz made it a really fun day for all of them. She even had special buckets for their Valentines and their heart collection! Mia was enjoying herself too! All the little girls in Brody's class love when she comes in. I think maybe I should just start leaving her with them, no body would notice, right?!

Donnie and I decided to stay home for Valentines Day. I feel like the older I get the more I enjoy just being at home. We had no desire to pack into a restaurant just because that's what you're "suppose to do" for Valentines Day! For Christmas, Donnie's mom gave us a Lobster-Gram, so we decided to do that instead. {perfect day for it} A Lobster-Gram is like this website you go to and pick all this food and they send it to you and you cook it. And obviously, their specialty is Lobster, but unfortunately, I dislike Lobster. Lucky for me though, they have other stuff like crab and filet and scallops and stuff. We decided on the crab, which I LOVE!! It's actually a pretty cool deal, I got the crab and some other goodies I ordered at my door that day. I made some other things to go with dinner and desserts and wine of course, we had the best night. (I even got a massage for a gift! Which I enjoyed last night, while Donnie stayed home and did all the bedtime stuff, yayy for me! Thanks babe :) I'm so glad we decided to stay in with the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend Valentines night! 

{and of course heart grilled cheese for Brody, because he probably wouldn't eat Crab if it was the last food on Earth}{ also, don't mind Donnie's lack of eyebrows, all of his hair has decided not to grow back}

Told ya this was gonna be long.... almost done!

I let the kids play with the dry ice that came in the crab box. I know what you are thinking.. No, I didn't let them play with the actual ice, I put it in a large pot with water. I thought they would think that it was as cool as I think it is and they did!! I'm not quite sure how safe it is or if it's still considered ok to do but whatever we had a blast for at least 30 minutes or so and Brody even got a science lesson out of it and Mia thought it was the coolest thing ever! And nobody died ;)

I have had "clean out the toy room" on my list of to-do's for a while now and I finally just checked it off! Yesterday, the kids and I decided it was time to tackle that thing. And when I say tackle, I mean it took us 4 hours, 4 donation boxes and 3 trash bags. It also included, lots of crying, tons of "I don't want to do this anymore" and many, "are we done yets?" But in the end it is clean and organized. The kids were actually very helpful and they did an excellent job, minus the few minor meltdown. One down, 25 on the list to go :)

Disaster.

Impressive.

Last but not least....
A few days ago Brody was playing with a Dino and I could hear him talking to himself. He said to this Dino, "oh, you like to blog?" "Yeah, you blog all the time!"
Haha what the heck?! I don't even blog that much, I can barely get one post a week!
He is a funny boy, made me laugh!

Writers block.

I seriously have a case of writers block. I started this blog to keep family and friends in the loop with what was going on with Donnie. Every once in awhile I would throw in some other stuff about the kids and fun things we were doing and not so fun things but for the most part the theme was always Donnie. I feel like all I know what to write about is him. So now I have no idea what to write about! I know that is not something to complain about, obviously! I mean I'm so glad I don't have to write about him anymore but I literally live the most boring life, nothing "post" worthy ever really happens. The most exciting thing that happens in a day is if Mia takes a extra long nap or Brody ate his WHOLE lunch or if all the dishes get cleaned in the sink. I guess I'm having a hard time adjusting back to "normal", I'm struggling to find our routine again. All of last year felt like limbo, we never knew what to expect next and every day different challenges arose. But now it's kinda just blah... I guess my writing is just mirroring my life right now, a little confused, a little "where to begin". I'm sure I will eventually get back in the swing of things but right now I have nothing to talk about!

I do want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has stuck by me (and us) through all of this. The last year has been so incredibly difficult and I appreciate everyone's support. Sorry for my flakiness and absent-ness (probably not a word :) and complaining and all the other really great stuff that came along with it. Without all the help from you guys I don't think we would have ever made it through. <3

Day 30.

I guess the key to blogging is staying consistent but I am so inconsistent. I do really good for like 4 days and then I fall of the map for a week and then I get a few good post in every day and then I slack off again. So, you'll have to bear with me because this will probably be a long post. I have a lot to catch-up on since the last time I was on here. 

We've been home for almost 2 weeks now and it has flown by. It feel like just yesterday that we were sitting in a hospital room in California. It has been wonderful starting to get back to normal. We have been playing lots of catch-up since we've been home. Trying to tie up all the loose ends I didn't have time for over the last few months, which has made for a busy couple weeks. We are really enjoying being home again though, nothing like some mundane everyday life to feel normal again. Donnie is starting to get back to normal himself too. He has officially made it to Day 30. This day seemed so far in the future just a month or so ago that I can't believe it's already here. We made it, it's almost surreal. Donnie has been doing so great though, I'm really proud of him! He finally was able to get his tubes and port removed last Friday. It was a pretty quick surgery, nothing too major, just some anesthesia and a few stitches. He was over the moon to get all that junk out of him, he was sick of having those tubes constantly hanging out of him. {he's had them in since the beginning of December, can you believe it's been that long?} Donnie has also been able to gain some weight, a whole whooping 4 lbs. That's a lot in the post transplant world! We also had to travel down to California on Wednesday, for another check up with Dr. Morbacher. We drove down in the morning and then drove back after the appointment (with a quick pit stop at Aunt Lu's). It was a long day, but it was filled with good news. Dr. Morbacher said that he is doing excellent. All of his blood work looks great and he looks great. He won't have to go back for another office visit for 3 more weeks. Donnie has been very insistent on going back to work and she said that he would be fine to do so in a couple weeks. Normally, they recommend 4-6 months after transplant to return to working. Since he is doing so well and his work will be able to keep him in the office instead of out on the flight line then she said he would be fine. So Donnie will be back in the work force as of February 13th. He is actually really excited to get back at it. It's going to be hard for him to start waking at 5:30am again but I think he will manage. He is still just tired and a little wore out but he has been trying just to do a little bit more everyday. Walk a little more, wake up a little bit earlier. I'm just so thankful that he has the job and bosses that he has. They have been really amazing working with him. I can't imagine if he didn't have a job that was understanding to his situation. They have just been so much of a help through all of this! Slowly but surely we are getting back to life as we knew it. 

As for me, I am free for girls night's and play date's and birthday parties and lunch's again so feel free to drop me a line ;) Ha ha I kid, I kid, not really but I can't sound too desperate. I have literally felt so out of the loop the last couple month that I am ready to be back in the loop!

As for the kids, they are doing great, just going about life as usual. Brody is still loving school and loving Karate even more. He even was accepted to this really awesome charter school for Kindergarten. I was really hoping he would get in and with a little bit of diligence on my part he did {I stayed up till midnight just to register him right when online registration opened, it is first come, first serve.} Even though it's still about 7 months away, I'm really excited for him. I think it is a pretty great school and I think he will thrive there. Plus it's close to the house and free! Can't believe that little boy of mine will be in Kindergarten. 

Mia's first Gymnastics class.

Mia is quite the little handful. She still isn't talking but heck, she doesn't need to, you know exactly what she is thinking by her facial expressions. One day she'll talk I guess {maybe when I can grow a back bone and take her pacifier out of her mouth, man, I'm a such a good mom ;)} She actually started gymnastics a few weeks ago but I never got around to posting about it. I wasn't able to go to her first class with her but my Aunt was able to take her, but I was able to take her to all her other classes. Brody has karate class at the same time and Mia and I would always just wait for him in the lobby. So, I figured why not have her do something too. She is adorable and we have so much fun. She was a little apprehensive at first but now she is all about it! She loves dancing and doing somersaults and just about everything there. She even does the toddler balance beam all by herself, no assistance. I am pretty impressed, I didn't think she would be able to do half the stuff she's doing. Her teacher even called her a "natural". I am a pretty proud mommy! She is seriously the sweetest little girl. Time sure does go by fast. 

Life is slowly starting to feel like it use to and it's a really awesome feeling!

Mia's first hair-do.

My grandma and grandpa came over for dinner tonight and my granny brought some sponge rollers with her. She's been wanting to put them in Mia hair and now she finally has enough hair to put them in. It's pretty thin but there was still enough to work with. She was born pretty much bald and has had the hardest time growing any hair, so it's been a long time coming. It's funny because Brody had SO. Much. hair. I think his first hair cut was at 6 months. Mia was very good while we were putting the rollers in, I guess she's use to me doing stuff to her hair. Plus she is as girly as it gets, so she loved being pampered :) On the downside, she didn't keep them in very long so the curls aren't that great but I think she is still adorable. 

{even with the mean face}

Look at this girl!

                                                                                               

Home for Good.

Where the heck have I been? Well, I've been at the beach. It feels like I haven't been on here in forever, but we've been busy enjoying our free time. I'll start at last Thursday, since I never updated about Donnie, but anyway, he had his post discharge check-up. It went really well, he's doing amazing! His doctor even said, "I wish I could just bottle you up." He's just doing that well. You would never know looking at him {minus some hair} what he has went through. Every thing the doctor asked about, he isn't experiencing; mouth sores, loss of appetite, change in taste, fatigue, nothing. Donnie really isn't experiencing any of the normal stem cell transplant symptoms, which is great, we couldn't ask for anything more. He still feels like his stamina isn't 100% but who's would be after all of this? We were just happy to hear that the doctor thought he was doing as well as we felt he was doing. The doctor said since he was doing so good that she didn't have to see him back for 2 more weeks. WooHoo! We honestly thought that we would have to go to check-ups so much more. It was awesome though because we had planned to stay at least one more week in California but now we could go home early! Back to normal a few days sooner, back to our bed a few days sooner, back to our life a few days sooner. Those few days were huge for us.

We could have headed home that day but my mom had planned on bring the kids up the next day, Friday. We thought it would be fun to keep them with us for a few days at my aunt's house in Ventura. We figured it would be nice to take them to the beach and just relax for a few days before we headed back to 'normal'. We had a really great weekend. The first day we were there it was crazy windy, so we didn't do too much. We were able to head down to the park on the beach for a little when there was a break in the wind. The kids loved it. Mia was all about the swing, she must have swung on that for a hour. She just loved it and was so happy. Brody totally enjoyed exploring a new playground. He even made a couple friends :) The next day, it was much nicer weather. We took the kids to the harbor and of course found a park {I think kids have a park radar, they find those way before parents even spot them}. We walked for a little bit and found some rocks for Donnie and Brody to climb on and explore. We went back to the house and ate lunch{Don still can't eat out} and Mia napped.
It was a much need time outdoors, we have spent way too many days cooped up inside! 

A little later we headed to the beach. Mia has never put her feet in the ocean. I had been waiting for the weather to be perfect before we went but the weather was as good as it was going to get. It was pretty cool outside but the beach was still beautiful. Mia and I took our shoes off and rolled up our pants and headed for the water. I think it was love at first step for her. She was in love with the water rolling in and rolling out on her feet. It was freezing cold but she could have not cared less. She just kept running in and running out and jumping. It was a very happy mom moment, it was nice to be able to experience that absolute joy with her. 

At least he is smiling.
That counts for something, right?

Brody on the other hand, haha, man I love that boy, but he is a stick in the mud. I feel like I always talk down on him and then I'm like oh, Mia is so great. He is great too and honestly out of both my kids, I 'get' him the most. But he just sat in Mia's stroller the WHOLE time and refused to put his feet in the water. I try to have patience with him but what kid just watches everyone have fun? Mia and Don and me are running around playing in the water and he's sitting way up on the beach just watching us. I almost felt bad that we just left him up there alone but it was his choice. Donnie kept trying to talk him into putting his feet in but he refused. He is the type of kid where coxing doesn't work. Once he makes his mind up, it is made up, there is no changing it. I don't pressure him though, Brody and me are similar, we don't do well when pressured. We do better when it is our own decision. I love that little guy and he has his own personality and his own likes and dislike, all of which include not wanting to play at the beach :) Haha that reminded me. After the beach we get in the car and I think I said, "ahh, that was fun" and Don says, "yeah, it was but I don't think Brody had fun?!" and I replied, "Brody had fun, it was just in a different way, his own way." and then we hear Brody say from the backseat, "No, I didn't have any fun, I want to go home and play skylanders!" Well, all righty then, guess he didn't. Haha

We spent most of the morning yesterday packing up and then eventually hitting the road. It took us about 6 hours from Ventura to our door step, with a few stretch breaks in between. The kids were very well behaved. They are great little travelers. There was no greater feeling then to walk into our house, it was like pheeewww, Finally. Home. Now on to getting back to normal. There isn't really ever a normal but I guess I mean back to, us. I miss focusing on our family and my marriage and my kids and my passions and all the things we enjoy. We are just so anxious to get all those things going again that, for a lack of words, have been put on the back burner for the last year. 

It just feels really amazing, to be home for GOOD.

Good day.

Donnie was able to leave the hospital about noon yesterday and it was quite a relief. It felt great to know that we didn't have to step back into that hospital room again. Donnie even said, "it feels like I'm busting out of jail." haha. It really did feel like that though! We were so happy and relieved, but it was all to be ruined by the pharmacy. Haha, not really ruined, but I hate the flipping pharmacies. Every single time I go something is always wrong with the Rx. Either the date isn't in the right spot or the dosage isn't on there or this time the narcotics weren't on the right form. Uggh! Donnie still has to take a pain relievers because he has nerve damage in his face from the tumor. The doctor said that it may take awhile for it to go back to normal if ever. She told us that when nerves get damaged they are very slow to repair but anyway, back to the stupid pharmacy. So we drive from the hospital straight to the pharmacy by my Aunt Lu's {45 mins from the hospital} and I go to drop all the Rx's off and they wouldn't take his pain reliever one because it wasn't on the proper form. So, long story short, we had to drive all the way back to the hospital to pick up a new Rx and bring it back to the pharmacy, because they can't do faxes, they have to have the actual form. It was about a 3 hour round trip drive {with CA traffic}. I finally dropped it all off at the pharmacy, they tell me it will take 3 hours so I go back 3 hours later and they don't have the Rx in stock!!! I literally could not believe it. I spent the last 6 hours trying to figure this whole thing out and then they don't have it. It would have been really nice of them to tell me that when I dropped it off. So annoying. Needless to say, Donnie survived the night without them and he wasn't in too much pain. I just don't think they take people into consideration sometimes. But whatever I lived :)

On to something more positive. Today, Donnie and I decided to take a little day trip. We both knew we didn't want to sit in the house all day but he really can't do much. Any public places with people are pretty much out so we decided to take a drive up the Pacific Coast Highway and find a nice piece of beach in Malibu to have lunch. We packed some sandwiches and snacky stuff because Donnie can't eat any food from restaurants. We had a really nice time just laying on the beach and walking the shore. It was just us and the birds and the sound of the ocean. When you go through Cancer you spend  

every day just getting through the day, so it was nice to actually spend one day just enjoying it. We have spent so many days and weeks in hospital rooms that it was good for the soul to be in the fresh air and and soak in all the beauty. Sometimes you lose a little bit (a lot a bit) of yourself and your relationship when your only priority is getting someone healthy. I think today was just what we needed to reconnect and just enjoy each other, no kids, no doctors, no Cancer. Just us. It was a good day today!
{Sorry for the not very good pics, my camera dies right when we got there (of course) so we were stuck with the ol' iphone}

 

Last Day.

Today is Donnie's last day in the hospital. They are discharging him within the hour. I just got back here yesterday night and he has been doing realy well. On Saturday, he wasn't neutropenic anymore so masks are no longer needed and he is able to eat more foods that were restricted before. Yesterday, they were going to let him leave but his platelets were still a little low, but today they are where they need to be so he is able to leave. His rash is almost completely gone too. Other than feeling a little wore out, he's feeling great. He is so ready to get out of here, he's ready for some real food and fresh air and probably a hundred other things. He can't do everything though, he can't be around large crowds of people {malls, movie theaters, grocery stores} or restaurants at least for the first 2 weeks. There is just more risks of getting an infection when he is around all those people and germs. We will still need to come back all week for him to get check up's but he is in the home stretch of putting all this behind us! We are beyond ready to not have to spend days and weeks and months at doctor's appointment's and hospital stays. We will be staying at Aunt Lu's for at least another week and then my mom is going to bring the kids here and we will keep them with us until Donnie is able to go home for good. We are so ready to be home, especially me, I am sick of driving back and forth every few days. I think I've put 2000 miles on my car in the last 3 weeks! I can't believe that the day is finally here and he is able to get out!

My little Gymnist.

Mia started gymnaastics class on Monday. I wasn't able to go to her first class with her but my Aunt was able to take her. I was able to take her on Friday though. Brody has karate class at the same time and we would always just wait for him in the lobby. SO, i figured why not have her She was adorable and we had so much fun. It funny because when my Aunt took her, she said that she cried most of the time and didn't want to do anything. I dont know if it was just because it was new to her or becuase it wasn't me taking her or it may have been the other boy that screamed the whole time ;} Haha my Aunt said there was a little boy in class that just screamed the whole class and Mia was a little freaked out. By the time I took her on Friday I think wshe was a little more familiar with the surounddings so it wasn't so bad. She was a little aprehensive at first but then she was all about it! She even did the toddler balence beam all by herself, no assistance. I was pretty impressed, I didn't she woud be able to do half the stuff she was doing. Her teacher caller her a "natural". I was a pretty proud mommy! She is seriously the swetest little girl.

Day 8.

Donnie has really been in the hospital for 14 days but he is considered Day +8 post transplant. He has been doing really well so far though. He is just pretty wore out, like the first couple days after the flu. He has also had to get a few bags of blood and platelets over the last couple days, because his platelets have been too low. The rash he had is starting to get a little better too. Donnie will potentually be discharged on Monday if his numbers continue to stay on the upward, but that is something they determine daily. It will all depend on how he looks that day. We are both ready for him to get out of here, so hopefully he continues progressing well!
I, unfortunately, have to leave today. I want to get home and see the kids for a few days and I also have to bring my grandpa home, who hitch hiked up here with me :) His sister(Aunt Lu) is the one I have been staying with and he hasn't seen her in awhile, so I thought it would be a perfect time for him to make a trip up. I spend almost all day at the hospital so him and my Aunt Lu were able to get lots of time in together. She was able to get a lot of gardening done. {he has quite the green thumb} I'm sure my Granny is ready to have him home and I'm ready to have the guest bed back haha. I was sleeping on the fold out couch so he could have the guest room, and I've never had the worst 4 nights of sleep in my life! No, haha, I'm glad he came, it was nice to have a partner on the trip. Gotta go though, I need to make it home before Brody's fundraiser tonight :)

Meet Jaxon.

I want you to meet Jaxon Piro. His is a 10 year old boy with a Brain Tumor. But first I want you to meet his Aunt, Beth. Beth is the mom to Maggie, Maggie is in Brody's preschool class and she is the cutest little diva I know :) When we first found out about Donnie's diagnosis, Beth had found out about her nephew almost at the same time. We bonded over Cancer. Not that it's a great thing to bond over, but when you go through Cancer you feel like no one understands. I truly felt like she understood what we were going through. It may not have been directly effecting her immediate family but it had a impact in her every day life. She was doing whatever she could to help her sister, whether that be taking care of her nieces and nephews or bringing dinner or just being her shoulder to lean on {which most of the time the hardest part}. Plus the pain of watching your nephew go through Cancer. Not only did her family have the heartache with Jaxon but they also found out a few months ago that her mother had been diagnosed with breast Cancer. I think Beth is a very strong lady and I wanted to share their story.

Now on to Jaxon. I don't personally know Jaxon or his family, but I feel like I do. I have followed his journey from the start and my heart hurts for them. I can't imagine having to go through this journey watching my son do this and not my husband. I have said it before but my husband gets all of this. My husband understands that life is really shitty sometimes and understands why he has to stay in a hospital for weeks at a time and he can handle the pain that comes with this. But to think of a sweet innocent little boy having to go through this awful process breaks my heart. I think of my own son and the pain it would cause me to have to watch him battle for his life. This little boy should be playing baseball and running around outside and wrestling with his brothers. Whenever I feel so down, I think of what this family is going through, because I honestly can't imagine. I wanted to write a little something on my blog because he needs everyones help right now. He was receiving treatment in Vegas over the last 9 months or so but he developed another tumor. So his family decided to up root their whole family and move to Texas. Where he is receiving treatment at the Burzynski Clinic. I have heard nothing but great thing about this place. His mom enrolled all of his other siblings into school there and they live in a small guest house. Can you imagine?! I certainly can't and if anyone should know what it's like to live from place to place and never be home it's me. I hope and pray nothing but the best for this family! They need lots of prayers and lots of good thoughts and donations. His treatment at the Clinic are not covered by insurance because they are considered clinical trials. But if nothing more, please just say a little prayer for Jaxon and his family tonight. I'm sure his family would appreciate it! 

Please read Jaxon's full story HERE.

Ironic.

Not much to talk about today. Donnie is the same as yesterday, just relaxing. So I thought I would talk about a funny little story. Probably isn't very funny but sometimes you just have to laugh when times are crappy. Every show that Donnie has really gotten into in the last few years, the main character has always wound up with Lymphoma in real life. It's funny because Donnie loved Dexter and then he found out he had Hodgkins Lymphoma. Then he loved Spartacus and he found out the main guy was leaving the show because he had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Donnie was so bummed. He kept saying man, I can't believe he's not gonna be on the show anymore. And then not a few months later her found out that he himself had the same thing. Then, last night Donnie tells me that the guitarist from Black Sabbath was just diagnosed with Lymphoma. Donnie has liked them for years, he even has a guitar pick from the guitarist from one of his concerts. Anyway, we started laughing. I keep joking with him telling that I feel bad for anyone he likes. He has the lymphoma curse haha OMG, that sounds very mean but I guess if you can't laugh about, you'll cry! But man, do I feel bad for the cast of Walking Dead ;) Lymphoma is not funny at all, it's very devastating but I mean, if that isn't ironic, I don't know what is?!

Back to business.

So I'm back at the hosital after a very nice extended weekend with the kids. Going home was much needed, not only for me but also for the kids. They were back to normal and driving me crazy and spilling stuff and crying and laughing and hugging in a matter of seconds of me being home :) It was exactly what I needed to get me through the next week. I am starting to get a little anxious and stressed and overwhelmed and a hundred other things right now. I can tell the kids are starting to get the same way with me gone all the time. Brody has always been a little scaredy cat but it seems worse, he won't even go to the bathroom alone. And Mia well, most people could describe her as a terror haha. They just need consistancy and right now, nothing in their life is very consistant. So, I think the both of them are just doing things because of that. And to think that dealing with your husband having Cancer is bad enough, I also have to deal with my parents getting a divorce. It has been a very tumultuous year for them and now the end is here. I will spare you all the gory details but overwheling doesn't come close to descibeing life right now. I see all the fun that other people are having IE; vacations, girls night out, date nights, crafting and I become so envious. I know our day will come but man, I wish it was soon! I would honestly consider myself very strong and resilient and I pride myself on keeping my emotions in check but I am sick of being strong and resilient. I want just one day, where the worst of my troubles are the kids spilling a glass of milk or the store not have the right bread or being late for an appointment. One day. I know it will come. I just need to keep my head up. I swear though, when it rains, it pours!
Ok, Ok enough complaining... on to something important. Donnie. He is on Day 5, halfway done. He's actually doing surprisingly well, he hasn't lost his mind yet! I thought for sure he would be going stir crazy by now but he's been doing fine. The being sick part has passed and he has been feeling ok, he feels tired and wore out but the nausea and vomiting seem to be over. He has a pretty bad rash on his head, face and chest, which have been driving him nuts. It's super itchy. They give him benadryl at night to help with the itching but not in the day because he would be out of it all day. So he's kinda just dealing. He also has a few mouth sores in his mouth and throat from the high doses of chemo, which they can't do much for. It's just part of it. He rinses with this certain mouth wash throughout the day to keep them at a minimum. They said good oral care will help them not get really bad. They were able to take him off the heart monitor on Saturday {which was much longer than it was suppose to be} and his blood has been fine ever since. He became neutropenic on Saturday so everyone that comes in his room needs to wear a mask {yes, me too. BOO.} At first, it was incredibly irritating to sit with a mask on, but now I'm use to it so it's no big deal. As for now, he is just relaxing and recoving and waiting for all of his counts to start coming back up to normal. He is in good spirits and is looking forward to being out of here!
We have appreciated everyone's prayers and good thoughs and kind words. They have meant the world to us!

Day 0

Today is Day 0, Stem Cell transplant day and the first day of recovery. They started the stem cell transfusion at 10am this morning and it didn't take long at all, just about 30 minutes. Everything went fine, no big deal, just like they said. The stem cells are just in a regular IV bag and they run them into him just like anything else. The stem cells are this reddish, salmony color and they are super cold, like freezing cold. They are so cold that they cause this sort of tickle and cough in the back of your throat. But supposedly they are doing a study right now that sucking and eating and smelling oranges doesn't cause that side effect. So, Donnie ate his orange and low and behold no weird side effects for Donnie. He was perfectly fine {just really tired from the benadryl}. He never felt the tickle or anything. Everything went great today, Last night was a differnt story though haha. Last night after I left, Donnie started to have a rough time. He was getting very nauseous and dry heaving every time they would change his bag or give something to him in his IV. Which happens 5 to 6 times a night. So, he had a really hard time sleeping. And on top of that, he's still is on a heart monitor and a IV bag for low blood pressure. They decreased it yesterday when I was here but I guess when I left his blood pressure started to go down again, so they had to bump his dose back up. They are suppose to take him off it completely in a little bit because his blood pressure seems to be staying stable but we'll see. He's been sleeping most of the morning and hopefully catches up on what he lost last night!
Today, is my last day at the hospital till Sunday. I'm going to go home for a couple days and be with the kids. It's pretty bittersweet for me. I wish that I could just be here with Don, everyday and not ever leave but I miss the kids. I miss them terribly. I have never wanted to get home so bad. I miss doing all the mom stuff; dishes, bedtime, reading books, taking Brody to school, making brakfast, lunch and dinner. I know it sounds crazy but I just miss all the little stuff. I just can't wait to see their little smiling faces. We Skype them evryday but it just isn't the same. I already feel like Brody got a little bit older and Mia's hair is a little bit longer. I think the hardest thing through all of this is missing my kids. Feeling like I'm missing a little piece of their life I won't get back. I'm sure that I miss them more then they miss me because they are just having fun with Grandma, but I guess it's just a mom thing :) Anyway, you probably won't be hearing from me for a few days because I will be enjoying the next 3 days with my Brody and Mia! Be back on Sunday :)

Last bag of Chemo.

Today was big day for Donnie, he made a long trek across the hallway to a new room! Very exciting day ;) In all seriousness, they've been talking about putting him in a different room since we got here, so we were glad that they finally had one available. The new room is bigger and has a larger bathroom and shower. It also has a much better view, I figure if we don't go outside we mine as well enjoy it from inside. And... he had his very last bag of Chemo this morning. Hopefully, the very last for the rest of his life. It's kinda weird to say, last chemo bag. I never even thought about it until he said "that was my last bag of chemo". It was just crazy to think that all this bull is almost over and he is one step closer to being done. He still has a long journey but that moment was a good feeling. Donnie hasn't been feeling very well the last few days. He had a really rough time on his chemo on Sunday. Every time he would move or sit up or stand to pee, his heart rate would go up and his blood pressure would go down. He would start to feel weak and nauseous and he would start to vomit. He had a good 24 hours of that. Yesterday he started to feel a tad better but his blood pressure was still low and continues to stay low. They just keep monitoring him and keeping him on his 24 hour heart monitor. He really isn't allowed to walk around or stand up, only to pee but other than that he has to lay back down. He's hanging in though. He gets his actual Stem Cell Transplant tommorrow at 10. They said its no big deal but we'll see how it goes!

What I know... Today.

Today I know...

- That I miss my kids {terribly}. Right at this moment I wish they were asking me a hundred questions and requesting 15 different things to eat and crying and laughing and all the wonderful and awful things that come along with having children.

-That hospital food is AWFUL. (not that I did't already know that)

-That the want to be normal again is almost painful, but the knowing that there really isn't a normal is some what calming.

-That watching my husband go through all of this has softened me. And probably made me a better person.

-That I may have a raspberry Brisk addiction, that is progressively getting worse.

-That I love my husband a whole lot more than I ever thought possible.

-That sitting around every day, all day in a hospital room is Completely. Exhausting.

-That eating bagels twice a day, probably isn't very healthy.

-That my Mom is amazing, and I would never be able to get through any of this without her.

-That Cancer sucks! If Cancer isn't the Devil, I don't know what is.

-That loving someone just isn't enough sometimes, you also have to show it, and prove it, and
live it.

-That Hoarders is a disgusting show.

-That my kids are the most amazing little things ever {even if they drive me crazy sometimes}

-That I get mad a God sometimes.

-That I am blessed by God more than I will ever understand. I believe he made me strong, and realistic, and maybe a little under emotional for a reason. He knew the struggles I would face.